Skin deep
by Doggyrooroo
Summary: What happens if Lula actually managed to get Lorraine with the acid. Will she die? Will she survive? What happens then and how their lives will be rebuilt.
1. Chapter 1

'Guess it was only a matter of time before you gave up on us.' Rhiannon's words rung in my ears. 'I'm not everyone.' I muttered. What happened next came out of nowhere. 'Miss.' Lula's voice is all I heard. I spun around and _SPLASH! _She had chucked something at me; at first I didn't even know what, but in the split second of it running down the side of my cheek, my neck, down my chest, I had no idea of what was going to happen next. Lula bolted leaving me standing there in a state of shock; that's when the pain hit me. An explosion of agony, excruciating pain beyond what I have ever felt. I could feel it burning deep down and it was hot. I was in absolute agony and I lurched over in pain, doubling over in the middle of the corridor. What had she thrown at me? Acid? And why? It had to be to do with Nox pharmaceuticals considering the resent protests she'd had about it. Why had I let her stay in the school? God she needed more than a psychologist that girl; especially now.

Despite the desperate thoughts that were racing in my mind, my true thoughts hadn't gone past the pain, the anguish, the terror. I felt like I was burning alive and I hadn't realised the loud volume of my screams filling the hall. I heard someone running; Nikki. I needed help and I needed it now. Surely I was dying? The pain was taking over everything and I felt terrified. I didn't know what to do. 'Lorraine, what's wrong? What happened?' Nikki shouted desperately attempting to get as much information of me just in case. 'It was Lula. I think she threw acid on me.' I gasped, talking was difficult. The acid was still sizzling and burning underneath my simple black dress. Black hmm foreshadowing my fate maybe? 'It's ok Lorraine; it's going to be ok!' Nikki said but I could hear the pain in her voice and the promise sounded like empty words; she couldn't prove that I was going to be ok. She must have phoned an ambulance because sirens were screeching around but not as loud as me.

Eventually hearing the distant pounding of footsteps, the paramedics, Nikki, maybe even random students witnessing the event; I couldn't scream anymore. I slumped down on the floor lifelessly and let the darkness take me.


	2. Chapter 2

The paramedics rushed all around Lorraine blocking my view. 'She's….she's…just tell me she'll be ok.' I muttered attempting to choke back my tears that were threatening to come to the surface. Although our brief relationship had ended, I cared deeply about Lorraine; loved her even and I wasn't about to lose her. They didn't answer me, but I guess that was for the best; all their attention was on her. I caught sight of Lula in the corner of my eye and in a split second, emotionless, I had her pinned up against the wall. 'God I swear to you if anything happens to her. That is the woman I love.' I raised my voice slightly bitter, angry at what had happened. 'NIKKI!' Tom shouted pushing me off Lula holding me back. 'Nikki, listen to me, you can't stop what has happened and hurting Lula isn't going to make anything better.' He spoke quickly aware that my fists were raised slightly. I lowered them in defeat unaware what to do or to think or feel next. Everyone had heard the commotion and now they all knew. They had strapped Lorraine to a board and were taking her away. Running down the corridor after them I called 'Wait!' 'I'm sorry mam only close relatives or partner's allowed.' They carried on with what they were doing, quickly but carefully taking her away.

I bolted towards my car, not caring about the fact that I should be teaching. Nothing else mattered right now I needed to be with Lorraine. I drove fiercely down the road following the blaring sirens from ahead. What was going to happen? What If Lorraine didn't make it? Rushing into reception I blurted out 'My friend, Lorraine, Lorraine Donnegan was just brought in, acid attack, is she ok? Where is she?' 'She was just brought in, wait here for a minute.' A lady with kind eyes requested. She didn't understand how I felt though; I can't stand around waiting when God knows what is going on to Lorraine in there. Fuck, what the hell am I supposed to do? When she's not looking I carefully slip towards the nearest doors, towards the triage windows. Triage, assessment bays, what is there to assess. Lorraine needs help and she needs it now!

I peek through the gap between the windows with the blinds that they haven't closed properly. All the preparation in the world wouldn't have stopped me being completely and totally shocked at the sight I caught. Lorraine looking paler than ever, ghost white was lying on a gurney with massive burns across her face and….. I ran my hand through my hair roughly rubbing my eyes. This couldn't be real. My dad always claimed that 'good things happen to good people.' And I had always believed his words until now. It just wasn't real. This couldn't be happening. I could just about hear what was going on as well as seeing it. Massive machines beeping and one flat line.

'Cardiac arrest!' 'Charging, clear!' I could hear them counting out the compressions 'One, two, three, four.' 'Pushing the adrenaline now.' They were all communicating with each other so why couldn't they communicate with me? 'We could operate?' 'What choice have we got, she's too fragile.' Fragile, a word I'd never hear associated with Lorraine, the beautiful blond benefactor. She was fierce, loved a challenge, and she never gave up. Keep fighting Lorraine I thought. 'One, two, three, four.' 'O.R 2 is free. Preparing for emergency surgery.' 'Charge, clear, still no response?' 'Come on we have to get her up there now!' They shouted urgently. Suddenly they rushed out pushing the gurney with Lorraine on top it, running away taking her with them. I put my hand against the cooling wall, trying to breathe deeply. My attempts were futile and I collapsed down against the wall in floods of streaming tears, panic and pain etched all over my face.


	3. Chapter 3

I had been sat here for a while, no update nothing. They had seemingly forgotten that I was sat here. My thoughts turned to what would happen if Lorraine died now….that stupid argument about the future of the school. Yes I cared what was going to happen, I wanted the school to stay free from fee paying, they needed to be able to have their education for free, not many of them had anywhere to go. I needed Lorraine more though, we were both to stubborn to say so, especially Lorraine; she didn't do emotions. Tom rushed in the door 'Nikki? Nikki, ah there you are.' I looked up exhausted from my emotions that had been on overdrive. He sat down next to me in the clean disinfected plastic chairs. 'Tom.' I sighed. 'It'll be ok Nikki, she'll pull through this.' He put his arm around my shoulder and I let the tears of fear free fall down my face. He handed me a tissue. 'Come on Nikki, Lorraine wouldn't want you to be upset like this.' I mumbled 'I don't want her to die.' He held me close 'I know, you really love her don't you?' he rubbed my back soothingly, it felt like I was in the arms of my father, the way he held me wasn't even close to the embrace of Lorraine. When Lorraine even brushed past me all my nerves felt on end, electrifying, intense. The way she looked in my eyes, her breaking blue ones scanning mine my heart literally melted. His was warm but not the perfect temperature of Lorraine's. I would hold onto her all day and never let go… 'Yes, Tom I really do…'

I trailed off as a surgeon came out taking the surgical mask off, beckoning us towards him. 'She's out of surgery but there were some complications, she's having trouble breathing and is on a support system at the moment.' I couldn't imagine the strong benefactor hooked up to a machine fighting for her life. Hatred for Lula was spinning around me. 'What about the burns?' I added. 'Yes, they should be better over time, maybe a few skin grafts will be needed but I should say that this young woman was extremely lucky it was a school chemical, old, probably worn out slightly.' 'What do you mean better over time?' I asked appearance was big for Lorraine; she still hadn't let me see her without make-up, god how was she going to cope with this? 'There will be some scaring but the main thing is seeing whether she'll wake up without any brain damage. Within 24 hours would be the optimum time.' 'So she's alive?' I questioned, everything was a blur, all I wanted was Lorraine well enough to be back to her old self. 'Yes.' 'Which room is she in, I need to see her!' I demanded, Tom's grip on my shoulder tightened. 'Room 201.' 'Thanks.' Tom nodded towards the surgeon. I coughed 'Yes, Thank you.' Before running off leaving Tom walking slowly behind me.

He respected my distance, standing sentinel outside the door. I carefully closed it behind me, gasping slightly at the sight of Lorraine. She was pale; she didn't look like the Lorraine I knew at all. Tubes, wires, intubation all helping her breathe after the surgery and the shock of the event. I probably needed intubation to assist with my breathing, my sobs racked the room. I stood still before running my thumb across her cheek, well as much as I could with the restriction of the wires. 'Lorraine…please don't die.' She remained inresponsive.


	4. Chapter 4

I put my hand on her shoulder and traced it lightly down her arm. I wanted her to be able to feel my touch, to know I was there for her. I had also taken habit to speaking quietly to her, I read how sometimes people in coma's can hear every word people say so I wasn't going to risk not saying anything at all.

Suddenly the monitors jumped, racing, loud beeps filling the room. I looked around panicking like a deer lost in the headlights as several nurses and a doctor raced into the room pushing me aside. Blocking my view, I could hear them muttering communicating to each other. I couldn't make a noise or ask what was going on because right now even with everything going on; I couldn't feel anything. I felt sick. Triage, assessments, what is there to assess? The horror I felt right now was urgent and even with all the preparation in the world I wouldn't have been ready for what happened next. The scene I witnessed; one flat line. 'Cardiac arrest!' 'Charing clear.' Counting out compressions. I couldn't move, I was speechless and fixated to the same spot. 'Pushing adrenaline now.' Come on Lorraine, fight this. Don't give up. Even with the futile attempts at pushing drugs, charging electrical currents, her body lay still, unresponsive. I imagined Lorraine jumping up and being like What the hell am I doing here? Where is my phone? If you think I'm giving up Waterloo Road now you're mistaken! Maybe we'd even make up; maybe there could be a future for us but as I heard them call 'Time of death' I knew that any kind of fantasy, even one that could potentially become reality, there was no space for dreams and hopes in the real world. I was losing the one most important thing in my life, which I cared about greatly not that she even knew the capacity of my love for her. My knees gave way; I knew this was for real.


	5. Chapter 5

_Thanks for the reviews and support so far! Any lyrics used in Italics during this chapter I don't own! It's Angels by The xx._

I woke up. The door had creaked open and the little lamp beside Lorraine's bed was turned on. I rubbed my eyes, one hand still holding Lorraine's tightly. I had fallen asleep in the chair, perched beside her bed. I didn't want her to be alone, if she could feel me.

_Light reflects from your shadow. It's more than I thought could exist._

'You still here?' The older woman asked easily like she was used to this. I guess it got easier with practise. I nodded yawning slightly. 'How is she?' I asked sleepily. 'No change pet, you must care about her a lot to stay here.' She replied quietly not wanting to wake up other patients in other rooms, I wanted to shout, anything that could wake her up. 'Hmmm. She's a good friend.' The woman nodded, I could tell from the look she gave me she knew Lorraine meant more to me.

_You move through the room, like breathing was easy. If someone believed me, they would be as in love with you as I am. They would be as in love with you as I am. They would be in love, love, love._

I removed the small sweat beads from my forehead with a tissue, that dream had been so scary for a minute I thought it had actually happened. It hadn't obviously the monitors were still beeping steadily. Coming from the army some nights I couldn't sleep or I had nightmares about death, the bombs exploding, blood gushing out of wounds, the guy that died in my arms…unbearable events that I wouldn't want to remember. The idea of losing Lorraine was almost worse in a different way. She needed to wake up. Everyone might not see Lorraine as I do but I knew the real her. The blonde money obsessed, attractive benefactor could be a sweet, vulnerable caring woman.

_And everyday, I am learning about you, the things that no one else sees. And the end comes too soon, like dreaming of angels and leaving without them, leaving without them._

I couldn't help but let a few tears flow, my bleeding heart ached deep in my chest. She lay there vulnerable, what I wouldn't give for this to be in reverse. If I could carry the burden of the pain and suffering for her. What if she didn't make it? What would happen to the school? Sonya?

_Being as in love with you as I am, being as in love with you as I am, being in love, love, love._

I think what scares me the most is I don't know how this will turn out. Could Lorraine live with the physical scarring, it'll be there always to remind her of this lowest point. Would she appreciate my help or turn me away? I stood up to inspect the scars closer. They were red raw, healed slightly. They said she was lucky, this was lucky….I pressed my lips softly on the scars cupping her cheek in the palm of my hand.

_And with words unspoken, a silent devotion, I know you know what I mean. And the end is unknown but I think I'm ready. As long as you're with me….._

'Lorraine, I'm sorry about what happened between us. I need you to wake up though, soon. There is so much out there for you. You haven't finished yet. I need you. Sweetheart, please.' I begged slightly grasping her hand. Kissing her lips softly it was like the fairy tale spell as I heard a small whimpering moan from underneath. 'Nik, I couldn't leave you.' She croaked. My eyes widened.

_Being as in love with you as I am, being as in love with you as I am, being in love, love, love._


	6. Chapter 6

Since Lorraine had woken up last night, I had been able to go home and shower. The doctors said she was out of the woods for now; maybe even stable enough to go home soon, if someone stays with her. All that will be needed are check-ups for the surgery she had and possibly some skin grafts. Lorraine on the other hand wasn't taking it well at all. Still slightly groggy from the surgery she'd been ok, until she remembered what happened. They sedated her to settle her down. Picking up the pace down the corridor was easy as I had practically memorised a short cut route to her hospital room.

Not wanting to wake her I shut the door quietly so only a gentle click could be heard. 'Nikki….' A sleep laden voice sounded. 'Heya Lorraine, how are you feeling?' I spoke softly, giving her plenty of time to speak. She grimaced before looking away. 'Lo, look at me.' She peeked at me, red slightly; she had taken pride in her appearance and the scaring was making her even more self-conscious of her body. Being awkward with emotions it was hard to know how bad she was feeling. 'I'm fine Nikki, perfectly fine.' She said firmly, in that hard accent that I love. Tears were pricking in the corner of her eyes as she made false promises. I cupped my hands around her cheeks tilting her chin to look her in the eye. 'Tell me the truth.' 'I…I can't even look at myself…I look horrible. I'm scared Nik.' She mumbled her throat filled pain, her heart heavy. 'Budge over.' I patted the bed down before sliding onto it. She was under the covers; I was on top, pulling her against my chest. She shut her eyes tears welling up. Kissing all down her scar slightly which until now I had been avoiding to save her the embarrassment. 'Lorraine listen to me sweetheart, I love you, I love you whatever happens. These scars don't change my love for you. You're the most beautiful, smart, slightly stubborn….' She giggled. 'Woman I have ever met and I ...' she kissed me full on the mouth, pulling me on top so she could lie back down against the pillows. Running my hands down her body, kissing her cheek, shoulders, neck, and collar bone. She retraced every kiss, touch mirroring what I did to me. We were so lost in the moment we didn't even hear Sonya open the door until 'Lorraine?!' That one moment, and her noise stopped our passion. I pulled apart blushing and Lorraine who looked stunned froze.


	7. Chapter 7

'I'll just erm….if you need me, just call me. Sonya.' I rolled off Lorraine sheepishly and made my way out of the door. I didn't wait to go home; in fact I just slumped out on one of the plastic chairs outside the room. I stood up too quickly trying to get a better look through the pane in the door. The slats stopping glass from shattering but also giving a certain extent of privacy only gave me a blurred view of Sonya standing looking over Lorraine, well I knew the lump in bed was my gorgeous girlfriend. Maybe once we were out of the woods, we could consider marriage or getting engaged at the very least; something to bind us together more. I could permanently move in with her, move all my stuff over. But somehow the shock of reality has a habit of biting me in the back, being in the army for years you think I would have considered the possibility myself but it generally hadn't occurred to me.

Large, erratic sounding beeps filled the silence around me and Sonya screamed out, chucking the door wide open. 'NIKKI, LO….SOMEONE HELP!' She threw her arms out the way, flipping her hair from side to side, it reminded me of a seal clapping, slapping its fishy smelling fins together in joy or maybe possible despair. My eyes flickered over to the heart rate monitor as the surgeon ran back in. Buttons were being pressed, an injection stabbed into her upper thigh, she looked exposed as she laid still, eyelids and lashes opening and closing in sync with the beating of her already broken heart.

Questions were being fired my way left, right and centre. Sonya reminding the team that she's her precious sister but what about me? 'Wait which one of you is Nikki?' one of the white coat lab rats asked quickly. I raised my hand slightly feeling a bit lost at sea like the small child called in for a detention. 'Were you aware she listed you here, to help with medical decisions?' My eyes widened in shock, I know me and Lorraine had been together before the acid throwing but I didn't know I had actually meant that much to her, Sonya looked a little distasteful besides me, probably wondering the same as me. 'Look whatever happens we need a decision fast, it appears as it took her a long time to wake, we missed out on the infection, it's spreading in her blood stream and she'll need surgery, it appears to be a case of severe septic shock. We've administered antibiotics before and they haven't worked so we might need permission to…..' 'Look do whatever you need to do to keep her alive!' I almost screamed in their face, if I could switch I would have done in a heartbeat but the longer this argument went on, she might not have any to spare.

'You realise it might come to the amputation of a limb, if it's spread that far, we really might not be able to do much else, it may be the only option.' Sonya looked at me, I could see in her eyes giving me a silent approval. I nodded; what else was I to do if I wanted her to survive?


End file.
